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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

Bob Saget

Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET

Bored People Talking
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET

Children Secret Way
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless
A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET

House Lasts People
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET

Diets Eating Food
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET

Beautiful Nice Reckless
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
BOB SAGET

Book Digital Needs
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET

Hurt Love Pain Someone
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue

If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.

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