“You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.”

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on the scorecard.

As if we don’t have enough volence on television. After her husband accidentally hit two spectators with golf balls during a celebrity golf tournament.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

You know when there’s a star, like in show business, the star has her name in lights on the marquee! Right? And the star gets themoney because the people come to see the star, right? Well, I’m the star, and all of you are in the chorus.

I can beat any two players in this tournament by myself. If I need any help, I’ll let you know.

Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease.

They say golf came easy to me because I was a good athlete, but there’s not any girl on the LPGA Tour who worked near as hard as I did in golf. It’s the toughest game I ever tackled.

Some people play golf. Some are artists, Some jog. I like to write.

I played many sports, but when that golf bug hit me, it was permanent.