I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
BO BURNHAMIs there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
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I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM








