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Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves – everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight.

Billy Gardell

I like those older theaters – the acoustics are perfect, I mean, you just have that feel of there’s been a thousand shows in there and now you get to be one.
BILLY GARDELL

Acoustics Mean Perfect
And then as I got older, see, I think a lot of times with comics, your life kind of permeates your act.
BILLY GARDELL

Guy Laughing Thinking
I mean, yeah, I want to lose some weight! I’m doing the best I can.
BILLY GARDELL

Mean Want Weight
Sometimes WRONG is worth the FUNNY!
BILLY GARDELL

Funny Sometimes Worth Wrong
Look, you know, you can’t please everybody. I’m a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn’t matter how funny you are and how well you do, there’s two people that are going to walk out of there hating you.
BILLY GARDELL

Hate People Two
Maybe, who knows, I’ll hire myself a trainer and a fancy cook. In five years, maybe I’ll be an action hero. Then again, maybe I’ll just be this guy. Who knows? But the fun part is embracing the human side of that.
BILLY GARDELL

Again Cook Embracing Fancy Guy Unshot
I’ve been trying to watch my weight a bit, but when I come to Las Vegas, all bets are off. I get enough healthy food in L.A. where the food is the size of a quarter and costs $40 – when I’m in Vegas, I want a steak!
BILLY GARDELL

Country Healthy People Trying
I’m always the last one to the party, man. But that’s okay. I got there.
BILLY GARDELL

Last Man One Party
As a comic, I’ve heard gunshots while I’m trying to get to sleep. I’ve performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of something you said.
BILLY GARDELL

People Sleep Trying
You need a wisecracking buddy standing next to you? That’s the role for me. You got the guys who are knock-down, drag-out handsome. That’s what people want to see. Let that guy be the hero. But there’s always a role for the Everyman.
BILLY GARDELL

Buddy Guy Handsome Hero Next People Standing Wisecracking
I have been a big guy all my life, I am not going to lose a bunch of weight, because then you’re like that weird fat person that got skinny but still has a big head. I don’t want to do that. So I’m just trying.
BILLY GARDELL

Guy Skinny Trying Weight
The quickest way to defuse fear or insecurity or anger is usually humor. I think comics figure that out quickly, and, once you figure it out, you think, ‘Hey, if I can do this and get paid, that would be kind of cool.
BILLY GARDELL

Decision Insecurity Quickest Thinking
I chewed up a lot of Florida highway when I was starting out. Used to come to Tampa two or three times a year for about 10 years straight.
BILLY GARDELL

Country Straight Two Years
Whatever is happening in your life is what’s going on on stage. So if you’re angry in your life, then that’s going to be on stage. If you’re looking for the guy that’s just going to make you laugh for an hour and forget about, that’s me.
BILLY GARDELL

Angry Guy Hour Laugh Life Make Stage
Whenever I realize I’m being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience.
BILLY GARDELL

Realizing Writing
Yeah, I’ve done Jim Breuer’s radio show a couple times, and I heard from Larry the Cable Guy when I got ‘Mike & Molly,’ wishing me congratulations.
BILLY GARDELL

Congratulation Couple Party Radio Show

Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves – everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight.

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Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves – everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight.

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Popular Authors

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