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I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

Bill Watterson

With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.
BILL WATTERSON

Decision Kind Ourselves Recognize
Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
BILL WATTERSON

Firsts Hobbes Use
Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious few footsteps?
BILL WATTERSON

Footstep Important Made Matter Precious
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
BILL WATTERSON

Creating Good Life Thinking
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Wonder
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON

Assembly Baby Cheaper Dad Light Sears
Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciate Late Miracle
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Real Smug Wisely

I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

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I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

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Popular Authors

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