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Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

Bill Vaughan

One in whose head is conceit, Think not that he will ever listen to truth.
BILL VAUGHAN

Conceit Pride Thinking
Even if you feed the cow cocoa you will not get chocolate.
BILL VAUGHAN

Animal Chocolate Cows
In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.
BILL VAUGHAN

Bird Century Firsts God Next
What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse.
BILL VAUGHAN

Heaven Pity Way
Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.
BILL VAUGHAN

Details Men Patience
Thinking in words slows you down and actually decreases comprehension in much the same way as walking a tightrope too slowly makes one lose one’s balance.
BILL VAUGHAN

Balance Comprehensive Down Thinking
We’ve found some things that are suspicious in nature, and we’re going to err on the side of caution.
BILL VAUGHAN

Caution Found Sides
Our court dockets are so crowded today it would be better to refer to it as the overdue process of law.
BILL VAUGHAN

Law Overdue Today
Perhaps God chose me to be an atheist?
BILL VAUGHAN

Atheism Atheist God Positive
It turns out there’s only one thing that capuchins really, really love – and that’s sweet stuff. If you give them a big vat of say, marshmallow fluff, and you let them go at it.
BILL VAUGHAN

Body Long Sweet Weight
Live constructively and live optimistically.
BILL VAUGHAN

Constructed Live Optimistically
Behavior is the theory of manners practically applied.
BILL VAUGHAN

Behavior Manners
When gossip grows old it becomes myth.
BILL VAUGHAN

Gossip Grows Myth
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seamed with scars; martyrs have put on their coronation robes glittering with fire, and through their tears have the sorrowful first seen the gates of Heaven.
BILL VAUGHAN

Character Fire Gillitering Heaven Martyrs Massive Strongest
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
BILL VAUGHAN

Christmas Family Happy Inspirational
It is not easy to describe the present position of legal opinion on advertising and free speech. Only a poet can capture the essence of chaos.
BILL VAUGHAN

Advertising Chaos Essence Speech

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

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Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

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