“You know what’s really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it’s true. You’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.”

If I’m the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, ‘Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you’re not going to get another nickel in federal funds.

It is a powerful statement that a good man suffered for me, that a just God was looking out for me, and if I lived a good life.

It’s an excellent movie. Really excellent.

I’m not writing a Ph.D. Dissertation.

Hitler and Joseph Goebbels understood that if you say something loud and long enough many people will believe it.

Saddam Hussein… I believe is involved with this World Trade Center and Pentagon bombing. I believe that you’re going to find out that money from Iraq flowed in and helped this happen.

Your mom was right when she told you never to discuss politics and religion because emotions run so high in those arenas. Especially religion.

And I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was – it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.

They advertise on the radio for food stamps!

When I tell children that they are far too dependent on their gizmos, they do not deny it. But they really don’t care.

It is up to each voter to evaluate honesty and competency in a factual, therefore fair way.

The goal of higher education should be to champion the airing of all honest viewpoints. Nothing less is acceptable.

You must know the difference between dissent from the Iraq war and the war on terror and undermining it. And any American that undermines that war, with our soldiers in the field, or undermines the war on terror, with 3,000 dead on 9/11, is a traitor.

We are all born with a grab bag of gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money.

Oregon is outflanking California as the most left wing state in the union.

There isn’t any reason to dislike people with whom you disagree. I have lots of friends who don’t agree with me.