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Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.

Bill Murray

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
BILL MURRAY

Army Feet Humorous
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses
BILL MURRAY

iPhone Moon Pigs
He’s going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It’s just total horror, and the camera’s still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, “Anything else, Bud?”
BILL MURRAY

Anything Bud Else Grinding
And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
BILL MURRAY

Like Work Working
The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
BILL MURRAY

Buying Car Mother
Nowadays, the scripts are just so much better, that you don’t have to feel that way. You feel like the script’s coming to you, you can just relax. You don’t have to drive the boat.
BILL MURRAY

Coming Nowadays Relax Scripts
The cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That’s kind of what it’s like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.
BILL MURRAY

Angry People Pop Thousand
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
BILL MURRAY

Blood Giving Inspirational
Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
BILL MURRAY

Crash Knows People
I mean, everybody would love to have their clothes torn off by a mob of girls, but being screamed at is different.
BILL MURRAY

Being Different Everbody Girl Mean
When you see grown men near to tears because they’ve missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.
BILL MURRAY

Feet Men White
Rather than life just rolling over you, and you wake up and it’s Thursday, and what happened to Monday? Whatever the best part of my life has been, has been as a result of that remembering.
BILL MURRAY

Best Happened Part Remembering
Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, ‘That would be interesting.’ Not comfortable, but interesting. It is not a comfortable film at any point.
BILL MURRAY

Girlfriend Interesting Thinking
You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
BILL MURRAY

Elephants Forget never
I really don’t know what’s going to come out of my mouth.
BILL MURRAY

Intuition Knows Mouths
Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.
BILL MURRAY

Golf Kids Play

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.

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Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.

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