People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
BILL HICKSHow come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
BILL HICKS