Download This Image
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  • Bill Engvall Quote - I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.
  1. black
  2. grey
  3. blue
  4. red
  5. brown
  6. white

I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there’s a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood.

Bill Engvall

More Bill Engvall Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn’t know it ’till he hit the ground.

    I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn’t know it ’till he hit the ground.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.

    You know your getting older when you lay in bed til 10am and think to yourself god I just wasted half the day.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there’s Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

    No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there’s Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, “Hey… We don’t hit”. He looked at me like, “Here’s your sign, Dad”.

    Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, “Hey… We don’t hit”. He looked at me like, “Here’s your sign, Dad”.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Remember the day you learned you could burn ants with a magnifying glass?

    I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Remember the day you learned you could burn ants with a magnifying glass?

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.

    In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.

    I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y’all catch all them fish? Nope – Talked ’em into giving up. Here’s your sign.

    I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y’all catch all them fish? Nope – Talked ’em into giving up. Here’s your sign.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I’d feel if someone interrupted me. Download This Image

    So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I’d feel if someone interrupted me.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things.

    My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I’d love to be a woman for one day of my life… God… I would be drunk with power.

    I’d love to be a woman for one day of my life… God… I would be drunk with power.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - Because we’ve become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper. Just how rapidly are we talking? ‘Cause I don’t want to have to play Beat the Clock in the thicket. Download This Image

    Because we’ve become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper. Just how rapidly are we talking? ‘Cause I don’t want to have to play Beat the Clock in the thicket.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I believe that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s a little further south.

    I believe that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s a little further south.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I told my wife I’m afraid to go back to the doctor because I’m afraid they’re going to look at you and say: ‘ma’am, just sell him for parts. It’s like that old car that as soon as you fix one thing, something else goes out on it.

    I told my wife I’m afraid to go back to the doctor because I’m afraid they’re going to look at you and say: ‘ma’am, just sell him for parts. It’s like that old car that as soon as you fix one thing, something else goes out on it.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I now know why old men like women with really big boobs. They see a trend. I mean, they call it a nursing home, hello.

    I now know why old men like women with really big boobs. They see a trend. I mean, they call it a nursing home, hello.

    BILL ENGVALL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Engvall Quote - I called my pilot 2 weeks before I flew and asked him, I don’t want to get sick, what should I eat? He said, Peanut Butter. I said, If I eat peanut butter then I won’t get sick? He said, no, but it tastes the same comin’ up as it does goin’ down.

    I called my pilot 2 weeks before I flew and asked him, I don’t want to get sick, what should I eat? He said, Peanut Butter. I said, If I eat peanut butter then I won’t get sick? He said, no, but it tastes the same comin’ up as it does goin’ down.

    BILL ENGVALL