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People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .

Bill Burr

Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.
BILL BURR

Country Guy Media
There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
BILL BURR

Giving Head Reason
I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don’t like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it’s good.
BILL BURR

Jobs Monday People
I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
BILL BURR

Elbows Elderly Today
To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
BILL BURR

Again Funny Opinion Talking Yelling
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.
BILL BURR

Golf Thinking Yelling
You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
BILL BURR

Funny Motivational Running
Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I’m yelling?
BILL BURR

People Week Yelling
Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
BILL BURR

Government Mcdonalds Sandwiches
You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
BILL BURR

Interviews Television Shows
It’s a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There’s good things and bad things.
BILL BURR

Air Good Things World
I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with ’em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don’t even notice that you’re filling up their heads with your theories.
BILL BURR

Filling Kids Thinking
Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
BILL BURR

Gold Men Wife
There’s no “brothers” when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don’t care about each other. He’s not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio – I don’t know that guy.
BILL BURR

Brother Funny
It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
BILL BURR

Dream Netflix Pressure
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.
BILL BURR

Office Smart Thinking

People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .

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People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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