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  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
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Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.

Bill Burr

More Bill Burr Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.

    So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.

    You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.

    I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - If you’re on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don’t get any Tweets you know it’s bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it’s doing by comparing the reception to shows I’ve done that have actual ratings.

    If you’re on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don’t get any Tweets you know it’s bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it’s doing by comparing the reception to shows I’ve done that have actual ratings.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber. Download This Image

    Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.

    Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

    I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

    I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I’d like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth or sixth lead, and have three or four killer scenes. You don’t have the responsibility of the entire movie being on you. I like those roles. I’m shooting for the middle.

    I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I’d like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth or sixth lead, and have three or four killer scenes. You don’t have the responsibility of the entire movie being on you. I like those roles. I’m shooting for the middle.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned how to combat depression. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it’s a choice. Y

    I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned how to combat depression. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it’s a choice. Y

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with. Download This Image

    Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.

    Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - When you say, “there’s no reason [to hit a woman]” that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, “there’s no reason,” you cut out the build-up and you’re just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don’t figure it out?

    When you say, “there’s no reason [to hit a woman]” that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, “there’s no reason,” you cut out the build-up and you’re just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don’t figure it out?

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.

    I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.

    We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.

    I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.

    BILL BURR