If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
BILL BURRI wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
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I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland – some of the funniest heckles I’ve ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.
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Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.
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I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
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I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
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Like most comics, I tried to come up with a sitcom idea that was based around my life. And it didn’t work out. But maybe because it didn’t work out, that’s why I ended up on ‘Breaking Bad;’ I don’t know.
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What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
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Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
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I don’t feel like it’s a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren’t bought and paid for like the Clintons.
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
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I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
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I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
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Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
BILL BURR