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Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

Bill Burr

What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
BILL BURR

Experience Heart Liberal Show Worried
It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
BILL BURR

Dream Netflix Pressure
A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there’s like a devil and a devil and they’re just battling it out the whole time. It’s like, “Smoke some crack!” “Get a hooker!” And then I go, “YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!”
BILL BURR

Advice Battling Devil Hooker Smoke
You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
BILL BURR

Funny Motivational Running
Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
BILL BURR

Issue Rabbit Role Something Though Women
I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
BILL BURR

Believe Debate Trump
If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
BILL BURR

Chance Country East
The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.
BILL BURR

Guy Office Running
You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.
BILL BURR

Fantasizing Play Safe Sleep Tremendous
It’s better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don’t get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about where I live.
BILL BURR

Assuming Fun Knows
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
BILL BURR

Gun Pet Pitbull
I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.
BILL BURR

Crazy Night Want
I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.
BILL BURR

People Rays Teeth
Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.
BILL BURR

Beer Guy Rocks
Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
BILL BURR

Barrels Long Shooting
You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
BILL BURR

Interviews Television Shows

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

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Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

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