What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
BILL BURRYou’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
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I am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.
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I’m a standup comedian who gets to act. I’m never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I’m doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.
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I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.
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I’m like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.
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I’m one of those guys where you know, I’m 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and rather than whittling down my schedule to just play the major cities.
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Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
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I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don’t like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it’s good.
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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
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I don’t mind either one [crowd that is more willing to interact or crowd that’s more ready to just watch]. Both of them are forms of listening to what I’m saying so I can’t ask for any more than that.
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I think it’s a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
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My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.
BILL BURR







