Let others know when they have hurt or angered you. By not speaking up when someone insults or mistreats you, you are inadvertently giving permission for him or her to continue to treat you in the same way in the future.
BEVERLY ENGELLet others know when they have hurt or angered you. By not speaking up when someone insults or mistreats you, you are inadvertently giving permission for him or her to continue to treat you in the same way in the future.
BEVERLY ENGELWe have been told and feel that we are responsible for their emotional well-being. We are not. We are responsible only for ourselves.
BEVERLY ENGELEmotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation.
BEVERLY ENGELYou have a right to be angry with the perpetrator, regardless of who it was, how long ago the sexual abuse occurred, or how much he/she has changed.
BEVERLY ENGELWhen someone is unrelentingly critical of you, always finds fault, can never be pleased, and blames you for everything that goes wrong, it is the insidious nature and cumulative effects of the abuse that do the damage.
BEVERLY ENGELStrong Women stand up for themselves and make it abundantly clear that they will not tolerate the abuse. If this doesn’t work, they walk away.
BEVERLY ENGELPositive and powerful: It’s more important what I think of me than what someone else thinks of me.
BEVERLY ENGELCritical words to a child are as painful and damaging as being physically hit. They are verbal slaps in the face.
BEVERLY ENGELWith emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically.
BEVERLY ENGELThey often become frightened whenever they feel anything intensely, be it anger, pain, fear, or even love and joy. They fear their emotions will consume them or make them crazy.
BEVERLY ENGELAccepting that your imperfections and so-called negative attributes are part of what makes you unique will help you to stop continually trying to be someone or something that you are not.
BEVERLY ENGELIt is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.
BEVERLY ENGELHe or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.
BEVERLY ENGELPositive and powerful: Sometimes people won’t like me, and it’s okay. Positive and powerful: I like me, and that’s all that matters.
BEVERLY ENGELThe more you face the truth, the angrier you will probably become. You have a right to be angry about being sexually abused.
BEVERLY ENGELEmotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self, trust in her perceptions and self-concept.
BEVERLY ENGEL