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It is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.

Beverly Engel

You have a right to be angry with the perpetrator, regardless of who it was, how long ago the sexual abuse occurred, or how much he/she has changed.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Angry Changed Income More Probably
He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Begin Believe Emotionally Fear Losing Themselves
Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self, trust in her perceptions and self-concept.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Concept Self Systematic Victim Wears
Over time, this type of abuse eats away at your self-confidence and sense of self-worth, undermining any good feelings you have about yourself and about your accomplishments .
BEVERLY ENGEL

Accomplishment Feelings Good Over Time Undermining
The more you face the truth, the angrier you will probably become. You have a right to be angry about being sexually abused.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Abuse Faces Long Ago
You have the right to your own ideas and opinions, to make your own decisions, and to have things go your way at times. Stand up for those rights.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Decisions Ideas Opinion Rights
Strong Women stand up for themselves and make it abundantly clear that they will not tolerate the abuse. If this doesn’t work, they walk away.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Abundantly Away Strong Tolerate Walk Women
Positive and powerful: Sometimes people won’t like me, and it’s okay. Positive and powerful: I like me, and that’s all that matters.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Being Powerful Thinking Yourself
Critical words to a child are as painful and damaging as being physically hit. They are verbal slaps in the face.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Children Selfish Stupid
Positive and powerful: It’s more important what I think of me than what someone else thinks of me.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Positive Powerful Someone Thinking
They often become frightened whenever they feel anything intensely, be it anger, pain, fear, or even love and joy. They fear their emotions will consume them or make them crazy.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Angered Crazy Emotion Joy Love
With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Believe Emotional Esteem Self
Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Abuse Domestic Emotional Violence
There are many types of emotional abuse but most is done in an attempt to control or subjugate another person.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Abuse Confidence Emotional Self
Let others know when they have hurt or angered you. By not speaking up when someone insults or mistreats you, you are inadvertently giving permission for him or her to continue to treat you in the same way in the future.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Being Hurt Speaking Up Yourself
It is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Being Important Looks Yourself
We have been told and feel that we are responsible for their emotional well-being. We are not. We are responsible only for ourselves.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Emotion Ourselves Responsible
Accepting that your imperfections and so-called negative attributes are part of what makes you unique will help you to stop continually trying to be someone or something that you are not.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Being Imperfection Unique Yourself
When someone is unrelentingly critical of you, always finds fault, can never be pleased, and blames you for everything that goes wrong, it is the insidious nature and cumulative effects of the abuse that do the damage.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Accomplishment Confidence Self Worth
Usually, critical words are accompanied by threats, name-calling, and yelling. This verbal abuse can be especially damaging.
BEVERLY ENGEL

Accompanied Critical Damaging Yelling

It is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.

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It is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.

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