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[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

Bette Midler

There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.
BETTE MIDLER

Emotional Friends Kind
The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
BETTE MIDLER

Foundation Names Opera
My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Independent Real
It’s the one who won’t be taken that cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
BETTE MIDLER

Dance Fear Philosophy
You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
BETTE MIDLER

Bread Sliced Thinking
Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.
BETTE MIDLER

Cities People Want
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
BETTE MIDLER

Laugh Laughing Slave
I’m confident that I’m as intelligent as many people, but I know that I’m not as intelligent as some. So in the presence of hyperintelligent people, I’m a shrinking violet because I don’t want to look like a fool. I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little.
BETTE MIDLER

Intelligent People Shrinking
I have a ball – and it keeps my heart rate up. I get to wear fabulous clothes. I get to make people laugh. That’s my core business, and that’s where I’ll always return.
BETTE MIDLER

Clothes Heart People
I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.
BETTE MIDLER

Always Breakup Married
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
BETTE MIDLER

Cleaning Ideas Superwoman
I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.
BETTE MIDLER

Cadillacs Couple Sex
For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating – and then only by waiters.
BETTE MIDLER

Depression Eating Speak
I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.
BETTE MIDLER

Nature Love Spite
My mother would only let us go to the musicals.
BETTE MIDLER

Let Mother Musical
Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Fit Men

[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

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[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

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Popular Authors

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