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I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Bette Midler

I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.
BETTE MIDLER

Thinking Two War
I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Ocean Wish
The [film] industry is an ecosystem that’s sick.
BETTE MIDLER

Ecosystems Movie Sick
I think the essence of humor has not changed. It’s all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.
BETTE MIDLER

Essence Issues Thinking
Marriage is such hard work. And it’s full of rage and real human drama.
BETTE MIDLER

Drama Hard Work Real
A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.
BETTE MIDLER

Grow Up Mother People
When I finally did stop and look at my life, I realized that I had done what I’d set out to do. In my pitiful little way, I had climbed the mountain I had chosen. And there I was, on top.
BETTE MIDLER

Done Looks Mountain
Do I understand this right? I’m being marked down?
BETTE MIDLER

Down Market Money
I always wanted to be a performer, I didn’t know exactly what kind of performer, all I knew was there were certain things that I liked. I liked movies a whole lot, and I loved music.
BETTE MIDLER

Certain Kind Wanted
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
BETTE MIDLER

Cleaning Ideas Superwoman
Sold my soul. Bought these devil chains.
BETTE MIDLER

Chain Devil Soul
As you age, feelings do diminish.
BETTE MIDLER

Age Diminish Feelings
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Hilarious Love
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
BETTE MIDLER

Acceptance Inspirational Strong Women
I fear for the future of the planet. But in a funny way, I’m even sanguine about that.
BETTE MIDLER

Planets Sanguine Way

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

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I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes