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The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.

Bernie Mac

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?
BERNIE MAC

Country Lying Start Writing
Every time you see a black romance it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
BERNIE MAC

Romance Sex Strong Woman
Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.
BERNIE MAC

Afraid Macs Say Thinking
Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life’s way of preparing you for success.
BERNIE MAC

Son Success Way Winning
Comedy has been so good to me.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Good One
I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Knows Limitation Politician
I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
BERNIE MAC

Around Shoes South Stupid Voice
The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.
BERNIE MAC

Quiet Sides Two Weapons
I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
BERNIE MAC

Arms Break Needs
My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
BERNIE MAC

Girlfriend Right School Things Wife
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Causes People Problem
They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
BERNIE MAC

Health Nothing Truth Worry
Fear is not one of my attributes.
BERNIE MAC

Attributes Fear One
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
I’ve introduced myself with comedy, and once you’ve introduced yourself as something, that’s where people keep you. That’s where people like to hold you.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Introduces Myself People

The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.

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The two sides of Bernie – that’s a quiet weapon that I have.

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