“I’ll confess right here that I secretly wish I’d have drawn a strip about a little boy with a fake tiger, going for adventures throughout the universe in spaceships of his imagination.”

The cartooning was always just an abstraction. It was an income. It was making me famous. It was allowing me to go and do other things that I’d wanted to do.

Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.

I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn’t exist.

My kids hear me behind my door, giggling like an idiot, and they roll their eyes at the blatant indignity of it all.

The universe throws us some obvious little pitches sometimes, and we need to be awake enough not to let them slip by.

And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.

Doonesbury had the requisite and overwhelming influence in 1980, as it did on any college cartoonist who was paying attention, of course.

I started as a news photographer at the University Of Texas’ Daily Texan.

A mind is a terrible thing. All this evolution nonsense is making me feel like a complete APE!

I don’t get fan mail. It disappeared with the digital revolution.

I was never asked to join the Editorial Cartoonists Of America. No fraternity would have me in college, either. I think they know something.

I grew up in Los Angeles and always wished I’d spent a childhood in a far different place.

I’d be a Libertarian, if they weren’t all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

Harry Potter’ shouldn’t be children’s first experience with suspense and plot turns.

Steve Dallas…a frat-boy lawyer who I knew in school. He’s never written me. I suspect he was shot by an annoyed girlfriend, which has saved me many legal fees.

I wanted very much to be Miles Davis when I was a boy, but without the practice. It just looked like an endless road.

My son, George, has been a bad, bad boy! Right, George?

As a boy, I believed freedom for America meant freedom for me. There was a time I believed every word spoken.

I’m so scared girls look at my breast implants and think, ‘To get boys, you need big boobs.’ I tell them, ‘Don’t get it done. Those fears go away. You develop other insecurities, but breasts aren’t one of them.’ I want to get them half-size.

Yes, the Boy Scouts of America should definitely allow gay adult leaders and I think it’s really going to hold them back if they don’t.

I’m a Jewish boy from Jersey. I was born with a strong sense of right and wrong, and a strong sense that the world can be a ludicrous, unfair, inhumane place.

I was a momma’s boy. I didn’t get anything from Dad, except my body and baseball knowledge. The only time I spent with him was at the ballpark.

Back then I was still appalled that God would set down his barefoot boy and girl dollies into an Eden where, presumably, He had just turned loose elephantiasis and microes that eat the human cornea. Now I understand, God is not just rooting fo the dollies.