“The Infinite Universal Power is more than just a narrow-minded gatekeeper to a spiritual County Club.”

Do I catch flak because I’m so much smarter than everyone else? I don’t know.

“What’s that?” the Unbeliever asked. “Wisdom from the Western Taoist,” I said. “It sounds like something from Winnie-the-Pooh,” he said. “It is,” I said. “That’s not about Taoism,” he said. “Oh, yes it is,” I said.

Unfortunately complaining is one thing Eeyores are not afraid to do. They grudgingly carry their thimbles to the Fountain of Life, then mumble and grumble that they weren’t given enough.

Those who think that the rewarding things in life are somewhere over the rainbow ‘burn their toast a lot,’ said Pooh

Treat gain and loss the same.’ Don’t be Intimidated. Don’t make a Big Deal of anything – just accept things as they come to you.

Do you really want to be happy? You can begin by being appreciative of who you are and what you’ve got.

The Eeyore Educational System sees childhood as a waste of time, a luxury that society cannot afford . . . Put children in school at the earliest age possible; load them down with homework; take away their time, their creativity, their play, their power; then plug them into machines.

The surest way to become Tense, Awkward, and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard – one that thinks too much.

The main problem with this great obsession for saving time is very simple: you can’t save time. You can only spend it. But you can spend it wisely or foolishly.

No matter how useful we may be, sometimes it takes us a while to recognize our own value.

I think, therefore I am confused.

A well-frog cannot imagine the ocean, nor can a summer insect conceive of ice. How then can a scholar understand the Tao? He is restricted by his own learning.

Sourness and bitterness come from the interfering and unappreciative mind. Life itself, when understood and utilized for what it is, is sweet. That is the message of The Vinegar Tasters.

Now, scholars can be very useful and necessary, in their own dull and unamusing way. They provide a lot of information. It’s just that there is Something More, and that Something More is what life is really all about.

As any old Taoist walking out of the woods can tell you, simple-minded does not necessarily mean stupid.

If people were superior to animals, they’d take good care of them,” said Pooh.

Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that’s good for me; I’m good.

I can see myself staying at Blackburn for the rest of my career – unless I move to another club at some stage

I don’t want to go to Portsmouth or any other club that has no ambitions.

I’d rather be shot than be seen falling out of some trendy club.

Most novels I come across have all the excitement of a long trip on a bus with a sensitive glee club. Yammer and chat.

There are times when a golfer is tempted to throw her clubs away and forget the whole ‘humblin’ business.’ At other times, she wouldn’t trade places with a queen-that’s when the shots are long and true, and putts are dropping.