“It is hard to keep a straight face during comedy scenes. It’s considered really bad form to laugh at someone else because you can ruin their best take. But sometimes it’s very hard not to.”

There are practical things which contribute to a joke’s funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it’s cold, if they’ve paid and if they are told it’s funny beforehand.

Steroids are] not healthy, … There’s a real health issue with steroid abuse. At any level, but particularly a young age level. There are many adverse health effects so I think it’s a concern we have to take as a college-level group.

I don’t defend what a comedian might say but I defend to the death his right to say it.

Whatever happens in life can happen on the stage, but as a comedian you should always be clear what your target is. It’s fine to be gratuitously tasteless if that’s what you are intending to do. It’s that old line:

Those who have never worked nude outdoors just can’t imagine how much better a breeze feels on their skin than an item of sweaty clothing.

My theory about comedians is that their greatest fear is other people laughing at them. So comedy is an attempt to control and manipulate the thing they find most frightening.

Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose.

It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh.

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!

There is always a secret irritation about a laugh in which we cannot join

You can laugh your way into hell but not out.

Tabloids can be fun.

I will leap into my grave laughing because the feeling that I have five million human beings on my conscience is for me a source of extraordinary satisfaction.

I’m not a – I’m beautiful, but I’m not working because I’m drop-dead gorgeous with a fantastic body.