one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young
BEATRICE SPARKSShe didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
More Beatrice Sparks Quotes
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I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
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The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
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I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
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They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
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Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
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Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
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I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
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I’m afraid to live and afraid to die.
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Why is life so difficult? Why can’t we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?
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Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
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I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
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I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
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Even my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
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How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
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This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS