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I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

Beatrice Sparks

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Mistakes Thinking Trying
I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Expectations Like Measure
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Important Individual Personality Something
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Escape Sleep Way
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone in this whole world. I wouldn’t hurt them physically or emotionally, how then can people so consistently do it to me?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt People Stupid
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Book Part Real Really
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Thinking Voice
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare

I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

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I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

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Popular Authors

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