“The only way I’d ever recruit a white quarterback to play for me is if his mom and daddy would both have to be black, and that’s the only way I would do it.”

The interceptions and two fumbles? Those just happened at the wrong time.

It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.

People don’t know what it means to be champions. Oklahoma invented it.

The key to his success? He’s just faster than the guys chasing him.

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

Some people are born on third base.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”

To me, full-time mothering felt like way too much and yet not nearly enough. Lost in a landslide of diapers, birthday parties, and others’ needs, I ached to reestablish myself.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said ‘Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.’ And I said, ‘Mom, I’m rich.’

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”

My mother once said “If you don’t pay attention to age, then it won’t pay attention to you.” And she says it, and it sounds nice, but I don’t buy it.

I’m a Queens boy at the end of the day.