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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

Barry Humphries

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Army Children Parent
I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Athletic Contemporaries Coronary Golf Occlusion
I’m an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Desire Husbands Women
If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Century Joke Laughing Missing
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Funny Humor
The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Defend Matter Spoken Truth
Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Inspirational Sports Pursuit Sports
The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Best Delightful Live Past Place
Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Destiny Satire School Someone World
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Beautiful Men Secretary Sex Thing
I love Australia – I think.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Emotion Love Thinking
I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don’t feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It’s worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian People Thinking
New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Sheep Thinking
I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Funny Laughing Priceless
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Friendship Funny Mom
I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

First Lasts Secret

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

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