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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

Barry Humphries

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Best Delightful Live Past Place
I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Athletic Contemporaries Coronary Golf Occlusion
He’s very, very well-known. I’d say he’s world-famous in Melbourne.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Known Luck Well World
If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Century Joke Laughing Missing
It’s an old Aboriginal word meaning ‘Let’s get together and have fun’. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Fun Needs Together
My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Army Children Parent
If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Explain Give Up might Satire
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Funny Humor
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Beautiful Men Secretary Sex Thing
I’m an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Desire Husbands Women
I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Body Bother Hair Men Some Women
Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Harbor Nature Pearls
I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn’t so bad. BO chic it should be called.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Bad Chic Little People Unhygienic
The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Defend Matter Spoken Truth
Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Struggle Thick Years
The whole point of art, aside from the aesthetic pleasure it yields, is that it provides a bridge to the past; that seductive land where we all find certainty and consolation. Nothing quite spans this gulf with such immediacy as the art of popular song.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Art Past Point Seductive Song

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

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