Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.
BARRY HUMPHRIESThe whole point of art, aside from the aesthetic pleasure it yields, is that it provides a bridge to the past; that seductive land where we all find certainty and consolation. Nothing quite spans this gulf with such immediacy as the art of popular song.
More Barry Humphries Quotes
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It’s an old Aboriginal word meaning ‘Let’s get together and have fun’. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.
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Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.
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Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.
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I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn’t so bad. BO chic it should be called.
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I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
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I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it’s very comfortable and dependable.
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Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
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I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
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I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
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I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don’t feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It’s worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.
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The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
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My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
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Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.
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There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
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I love Australia – I think.
BARRY HUMPHRIES






