“I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?”

Why does it take two days for a polaroid of John Major to appear?

They say that adultery is the main thing that can damage a marriage, but it’s not. It’s boredom.

Quick: noise made by a dyslexic duck

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

We sometimes feel like hamsters on a wheel, covering the same musical ground we did 20 or more years ago.

Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism. It is the belief that problems can be solved, differences resolved. It is a type of confidence.

I’ve seen it over the years, the more intellectual they are, the more work they don’t want to do. You have to do both, you have to be able to put in the graft.

In mathematics and science definition are simple, but bare-bones. Until you get to a problem which you understand it takes hundreds and hundreds of pages and years and years of learning.

You know, I was at CBS News for 28 years. I may have run an unidentified source. Frankly, I don’t remember.

Young Alexander conquered India. He alone? Caesar beat the Gauls. Was there not even a cook in his army? Philip of Spain wept as his fleet was sunk and destroyed. Were there no other tears? Frederick the Great triumphed in the Seven Years War. Who Triumphed with him?

You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.

The path that was entered upon only one hundred and fifty years ago … How young she is! It will be centuries before she will adopt that maturity of custom – the clothing of the grave – that some people believe she is already fitted for.