“I’d get a shell, they weighed about 80 pounds I think, but when I was 19 or 20 that was nothing. I’d take a shell and a bag of powder, I’d put it in the hoist and then I would send it up to the gun.”

After the atomic bombs were dropped, the war ended and we went into Tokyo Bay with the rest of the fleet, the Missouri and the rest of them, while they signed the terms of surrender that ended the war.

All we had aboard the ship that morning was one Annapolis graduate and three reserves.

The gunner’s mate came up and started breaking the locks on the ammunition. Everything was locked up for fear that someone might go in there with a cigarette or something.

I was standing on the deck of the USS Blue, a destroyer. We were all alone out there at this buoy, tied up.

I was 20 years old at Pearl Harbor. I was in the Navy about a year and four months before the war.

Everything was black in the harbor, but there were still some fires burning on the ships.

I’m Winnie the Pooh – that’s as sexy as I am. I meet ladies and they talk about their family and I talk about my family. It’s about as sexy as a bag of Brussel sprouts.

With BitTorrent, the cat’s out of the bag.

I’ve never known a lot of rich people. It’s not my bag.

We are all born with a grab bag of gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He said he’d get back to me next year.

I’m a dirt bag rock and roller. I want to represent that before anything else

My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character – I am that character… It’s a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I’ve put them all to work onstage.