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I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

Barbara Cartland

I consider myself an expert on love, sex and health. Without health you can have very little of the other two.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Experts Sex Two
I would love to employ a man, but how can I possibly give a man dictation from the bath?
BARBARA CARTLAND

Bath Giving Men
After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Birthday Funny Women
A woman asking ‘Am I good? Am I satisfied?’ is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Husband Selfish Trying
Every man has been brought up with the idea that decent women don’t pop in and out of bed; he has always been told by his mother that “nice girls don’t.” He finds, of course, when he gets older that this may be untrue-but only in a certain section of society.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Girl Mother Nice
A man will teach his wife what is needed to arouse his desires. And there is no reason for a woman to know any more than what her husband is prepared to teach her. If she gets married knowing far too much about what she wants and doesn’t want then she will be ready to find fault with her husband.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Husband Marriage Women
A woman should say: ‘Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved me before? Is he likely to go to bed with another woman?’ If he does, then it’s the wife’s fault because she is not trying to make him happy.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Love Wife Women
The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Energy Food Matter
People don’t roll around naked in my books. I do allow them to go to bed if they’re married, but it’s all very wonderful and the moon beams.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Book Moon People
I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Found Telling Truth Women
I always wear boot polish on my eyelashes, because I am a very emotional person and it doesn’t run when I cry.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Emotional Eyelashes Running
France is the only place where you can make love in the afternoon without people hammering on your door.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Doors Love People
Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Men Sex Witty
Love is next to Godliness with certain safeguards.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Certain Love Next
A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Book Historical Romance
As long as the plots keep arriving from outer space, I’ll go on with my virgins.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Arriving Long Space

I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

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I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

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