“One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes.”

I’d say mostly I paint hot chicks.

Actually, I’ve always wanted to be a professional skateboarder ever since I was about six.

I’m on a lot of airplanes, so I just sip on red wine thinking of stupid ideas and, when I think of it, I wanna make it happen.

I’ve been doing pranks my whole life, so I guess I’m pretty good at it.

I like geography. I could tell you the capital of any country you want.

I’m a regular at a hospital in Pennsylvania. The Riddle Hospital in Media, Pennsylvania.

Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there’s plenty of ways to do that.

I got addicted to Tetris, playing it in my basement, I was missing all these airplane flights over it. After the fourth one that I missed, I realized I needed to get rid of this thing – so ever since then, I don’t play video games any more.

These trees and these old people have one thing in common – they’re both going in the ground soon!

Sometimes I wake up, I feel like, I’m like 80-years-old.

When you’re drunk, you always think you’re not. If you even drink at all don’t get behind the wheel.

I skate all the time, but it’s silly for me to do contests when MTV is giving me a boatload of money.

Skateboarding teaches you how to take a fall properly. If you try to kickflip down some stairs, it might take you thirty tries – and you just learn how to take a tumble out of it without getting hurt.

It’s kinda all about image.

Life’s philosophy, hm… I just say, ‘Do what you do and have fun doing it and try not to be too miserable.’

I want to make my own movie.

…Five minutes from now, when everything else had dropped away and i realized the full impact of what id done, id feel my heart breaking.

When you’re paid to do a job, it’s better to give a few minutes more to it, than a few minutes less. That’s one of the differences between doing a job honestly and doing it dishonestly! See?

If i’d wanted you dead five minutes ago, you’d have died five minutes ago.

Chase him down and stall for time. I need two more minutes. Chase him down? How? The neon has a flat. With your own two feet! You mean exercise?

Rollover minutes dont work with curfews.

She cleans a toilet inside and out under a minute. More like terrifying

Just hold on. Just for a minute.” “Are you all right ?” I found my gaze dropping towards his chair, afraid some part of him was pinched, or trapped, that I had got something wrong.

I just… want to be a man who has been to a concert with a girl in a red dress. Just for a few minutes more.