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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.

Alan Coren

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
ALAN COREN

Axminster Bottom Down Fall Humour Make People Role Top Writhe
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
ALAN COREN

All Bird Date One Pigeon Sparrow
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.
ALAN COREN

Choose Consist Democrat Hear Think Want
Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
ALAN COREN

Bread Country Delicacy Local Only World
Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a “Wirtschaftswunder,” which can be briefly translated as “The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one.”
ALAN COREN

Brief Curent Enjoy Lost Mercedeas Own Translate
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
ALAN COREN

Both Chocolate Product Remember Snow Solid Something
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.
ALAN COREN

Accident Act Cannot Incur Designation God Insurance Policy Roughly
To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
ALAN COREN

Grievance Life Purpose
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
ALAN COREN

Coner Interim People More People Room Stand Television
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
ALAN COREN

Footprint Item Manufacture Payroll Sometimes Wonder
The word “souvenir” has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless.
ALAN COREN

Anything Breakable Denote Either Extend Meaning Slightly Souvenir Useless
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.
ALAN COREN

Beautiful Come Inspirational never Tomorrow May Yesterday
Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic… being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated – south from Sweden in about 500 BC.
ALAN COREN

Country Emigrate Ethnical Made South Up
It is a magic carpet under which everything has been swept.
ALAN COREN

Been Carpet Unde Everything Magic Swept
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
ALAN COREN

Call Country Extend Person Sheepdog Shepherd
Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate in wild heliotrope abandon, lotuses writhe with poppies in the sweet warm beds.
ALAN COREN

Bed Flower Heliotrope Hothouse Inside Lascivious Lotus Orchid Passion Poppies Sweat Sweet Warm Window

Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.

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Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come.

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