I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
ALAN BENNETTOur father the novelist; my husband the poet. He belongs to the ages – just don’t catch him at breakfast.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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The majority of people perform well in a crisis and when the spotlight is on them; it’s on the Sunday afternoons of this life, when nobody is looking, that the spirit falters.
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That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.
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I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts.
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I bet Tom Stoppard doesn’t have to do this’ or There is no doubt David Hare would have deputed this to an underling.’
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But the headmaster happened to have been to Cambridge and decided to try and push some of us towards Oxford and Cambridge.
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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Polly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
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The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you.
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We don’t see it, and because we don’t see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past.
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Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories.
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Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting. Briefing closes down a subject, reading opens it up.
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
ALAN BENNETT