The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.
ALAIN DE BOTTONGetting to the top has an unfortunate tendency to persuade people that the system is OK after all.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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The only people we can think of as normal are those we don’t yet know very well.
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There is real danger of a disconnect between what’s on your business card and who you are deep inside, and it’s not a disconnect that the world is ready to be patient with.
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The flawless object throws into perspective the mediocrity that surrounds it. We are reminded of the way we would wish things always to be and of how incomplete our lives remain.
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The happiness that may emerge from taking a second look is central to Proust’s therapeutic conception. It reveals the extent to which our dissatisfactions may be the result of failing to look properly at our lives rather than the result of anything inherently deficient about them.
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Unnatural to expect that learning to be happy should be any easier than, say, learning to play the violin or require any less practice.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own – but that we could never have described on our own.
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Which seems no less relevant in the secular realm than in the religious one-that we have within us a precious, childlike, vulnerable core which we should nourish and nurture on its turbulent journey through life.
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to design means forcing ourselves to unlearn what we believe we already know, patiently to take apart the mechanisms behind our reflexes and to acknowledge the mystery and stupefying complexity of everyday gestures like switching off a light of turning on a tap
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Only as we mature does affection begin to depend on achievement.
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Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.
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Literature deeply stands opposed to the dominant value system-the one that rewards money and power. Writers are on the other side-they make us sympathetic to ideas and feelings that are of deep importance but can’t afford airtime in a commercialized, status-consciou s, and cynical world.
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Mental health: having enough safe places in your mind for your thoughts to settle.
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It is in dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value. Acquaintance with grief turns out to be one of the more unusual prerequisites of architectural appreciation. We might, quite aside from all other requirements, need to be a little sad before buildings can properly touch us.
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One of our major flaws, and causes of unhappiness, is that we find it hard to take note of appreciate and be grateful for what is always around us. We suffer because we lose sight of the value of what is before us and yearn, often unfairly, for the imagined attraction elsewhere.
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One of the better guarantors of ending up in a good relationship: an advanced capacity to be alone.
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