You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
AL FRANKENPart of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user’s phone number and home address.
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I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.
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When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
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If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
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Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained.
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During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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They talked about unreasonable searches and seizures, about keeping the government out of their bedrooms.
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Google might be doping the horses.
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Whining is anger through a small opening.
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And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.
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If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire – and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow’s leaders.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
AL FRANKEN