I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLEROne thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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TV always wants more people to be watching.
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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
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So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER