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But there were years when, in search of what I thought was better, nobler things I denied these, my people, and my family.

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I joined another circle and the leader gave us a little leaflet in very small print, asking us to read it carefully and then come prepared to ask questions.
AGNES SMEDLEY

Another Asked Asking Carefully Circles Joined Leader Leaflet Prepared Print Question Small
The subjects treated were technical Marxist theories.
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Subject Technical Theories Treated
I shot, rode, jumped, and took part in all the fights of the boys.
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Boy Fight Jumped Part Rode Shot Took
I was learning that books and diagrams can be evil things if they deaden the mind of man and make him blind or cynical before subjection of any kind.
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Blind Book Cynical Deaden Diagram Evil Learning Man Mind Subjective
There’s something dreadfully decisive about a beheading.
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Beheading Death Decisive Dreadfully Dying Something
It was a technical Marxist subject and I did not understand it nor did I know what questions to ask.
AGNES SMEDLEY

Ask Nor Question Subject Technical Understand
For the first week of the Sian events I was a first aid worker in the streets of Sian.
AGNES SMEDLEY

First Slan Street The Event Week Worker
Yet it is awful to love a person who is a torture to you. And a fascinating person who loves you and won’t hear of anything but your loving him and living right by his side through all eternity!
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Anything Awful Eternity Fascinating Hear Living Living Right Love Person Tortue
I feel like a person living on the brink of a volcano crater.
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Crater Feel Living Person Volcanoes
No one yet knows what a man’s province is, and how far that province, as conceived of today, is artificial.
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Artificial Conceived Far Know Man Province Today
Subjection of any kind and in any place is beneath the dignity of man.
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Beneath Dignity Fighting Joy Kind Man Place Subjection
Everybody calls everybody a spy, secretly, in Russia, and everybody is under surveillance. You never feel safe.
AGNES SMEDLEY

Call Country Everybody Feel Safe Spy Surveillance Under
Thousands of women are crushed and made inarticulate by that system and never develop as their natures would force them to develop were they in a decent environment.
AGNES SMEDLEY

Crushed Decent Developed Environment Inarticulate Made System Thousand Women
But I see no reason why a woman should not grow and develop in all those outlets which are suited to her nature, it matters not at all what they may be.
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Grow Matter May Nature Outlet Reason Suited Woman
I would not let it ruin me as it ruined others! I would speak only with money, hard money.
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Hard Let Money Other Ruin Ruined Speak
But settled things were enemies to me and soon lost their newness and color. The unknown called.
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Adventure Color Enemies Enemy Lost Newness Settled Unknown

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