When I was a girl, the West was still young, and the law of force, of physical force, was dominant.
AGNES SMEDLEYThere were fifty-four women and forty little boys with the Red Army prisoners, and I went daily to take care of them also.
More Agnes Smedley Quotes
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Everybody calls everybody a spy, secretly, in Russia, and everybody is under surveillance. You never feel safe.
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I would not let it ruin me as it ruined others! I would speak only with money, hard money.
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Like all my family and class, I considered it a sign of weakness to show affection; to have been caught kissing my mother would have been a disgrace, and to have shown affection for my father would have been a disaster.
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I feel like a person living on the brink of a volcano crater.
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There are many men – such as those often to be found among the Indians – who are refined until they have qualities often attributed to the female sex. Yet they are men, and strong ones.
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In the little hall leading to it was a rack holding various Socialist or radical newspapers, tracts, and pamphlets in very small print and on very bad paper.
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Thousands of women are crushed and made inarticulate by that system and never develop as their natures would force them to develop were they in a decent environment.
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But I see no reason why a woman should not grow and develop in all those outlets which are suited to her nature, it matters not at all what they may be.
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It was a technical Marxist subject and I did not understand it nor did I know what questions to ask.
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I have no objection to a man being a man, however masculine that may be.
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Always before I had felt like a person, an individual, hopeful that I could mold my life according to some desire of my own.
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Now, being a girl, I was ashamed of my body and my lack of strength. So I tried to be a man.
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But settled things were enemies to me and soon lost their newness and color. The unknown called.
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Professors could silence me then; they had figures, diagrams, maps, books.
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More and more do I see that only a successful revolution in India can break England’s back forever and free Europe itself.
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For the first week of the Sian events I was a first aid worker in the streets of Sian.
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I was learning that books and diagrams can be evil things if they deaden the mind of man and make him blind or cynical before subjection of any kind.
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My mother listened to all the news from the camp during the strike.
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And the woman who could win the respect of man was often the woman who could knock him down with her bare fists and sit on him until he yelled for help.
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I believe only in money, not in love or tenderness. Love and tenderness meant only pain and suffering and defeat.
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To die would have been beautiful. But I belong to those who do not die for the sake of beauty.
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But there were years when, in search of what I thought was better, nobler things I denied these, my people, and my family.
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I joined another circle and the leader gave us a little leaflet in very small print, asking us to read it carefully and then come prepared to ask questions.
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The subjects treated were technical Marxist theories.
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I was ashamed of them and their ways of life. But now – yes, I love them; they are a part of my blood; they, with all their virtues and their faults, played a great part in forming my way of looking at life.
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But here in New York I was ignorant, insignificant, unimportant–one in millions whose destiny concerned no one. New York did not even know of my existence. Nor did it care.
AGNES SMEDLEY