When you’re dead, everything in the world is like a song that makes you cry.
ADAM SELZERMost of them never really listen to music.
More Adam Selzer Quotes
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Let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
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The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was the most sweeping civil rights legislation of its day, and included women’s rights as part of its reforms.
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We add to it every now and then. It includes things like never date a guy whose computer costs more than his car (you’ll never get him to pay attention to you except over instant messages)
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Even at concerts people pay good money for, instead of a three-dollar cover charge, they talk through the whole thing.
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Practically no one actually does.
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If you really like someone, it doesn’t matter what their mouth feels or tastes like.
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Some of them are wearing skirts that I’m pretty sure are supposed to be belts.
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They don’t know what it’s like when a song changes your life.
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What kind of guidance counselor are you?
ADAM SELZER -
Never date a guy who has a pet lizard (he’s probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word “married” on the first date (he’ll turn out to be a mama’s boy or a religious type)
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I feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it’s like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world.
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A long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date.
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The bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia.
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Not that anyone minds–no one’s paying attention to the music.
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The kiss is still awesome.
ADAM SELZER