Let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
ADAM SELZERRelated Topics
Anand Thakur
Let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
ADAM SELZERWe add to it every now and then. It includes things like never date a guy whose computer costs more than his car (you’ll never get him to pay attention to you except over instant messages)
ADAM SELZERNot that anyone minds–no one’s paying attention to the music.
ADAM SELZERMost of them never really listen to music.
ADAM SELZERThey don’t know what it’s like when a song changes your life.
ADAM SELZERWow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
ADAM SELZERWhat kind of guidance counselor are you?
ADAM SELZERNever date a guy who has a pet lizard (he’s probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word “married” on the first date (he’ll turn out to be a mama’s boy or a religious type)
ADAM SELZERPractically no one actually does.
ADAM SELZERSome of them are wearing skirts that I’m pretty sure are supposed to be belts.
ADAM SELZERIronically, the section on women’s rights was added by a senator from Virginia who opposed the whole thing and was said to be sure that if he stuck something about womens’ rights into it, it would never pass.
ADAM SELZERThe bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia.
ADAM SELZERI feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it’s like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world.
ADAM SELZERA long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date.
ADAM SELZERIf you really like someone, it doesn’t matter what their mouth feels or tastes like.
ADAM SELZERWhen you’re dead, everything in the world is like a song that makes you cry.
ADAM SELZER