Let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
ADAM SELZERRelated Topics
Anand Thakur
Let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
ADAM SELZER
We add to it every now and then. It includes things like never date a guy whose computer costs more than his car (you’ll never get him to pay attention to you except over instant messages)
ADAM SELZER
Practically no one actually does.
ADAM SELZER
Even at concerts people pay good money for, instead of a three-dollar cover charge, they talk through the whole thing.
ADAM SELZER
Never date a guy who has a pet lizard (he’s probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word “married” on the first date (he’ll turn out to be a mama’s boy or a religious type)
ADAM SELZER
Some of them are wearing skirts that I’m pretty sure are supposed to be belts.
ADAM SELZER
What kind of guidance counselor are you?
ADAM SELZER
The kiss is still awesome.
ADAM SELZER
A long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date.
ADAM SELZER
They don’t know what it’s like when a song changes your life.
ADAM SELZER
When you’re dead, everything in the world is like a song that makes you cry.
ADAM SELZER
Most of them never really listen to music.
ADAM SELZER
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was the most sweeping civil rights legislation of its day, and included women’s rights as part of its reforms.
ADAM SELZER
I feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it’s like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world.
ADAM SELZER
The bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia.
ADAM SELZER
Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
ADAM SELZER