Not that anyone minds–no one’s paying attention to the music.
ADAM SELZERNot that anyone minds–no one’s paying attention to the music.
ADAM SELZERI feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it’s like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world.
ADAM SELZERIf you really like someone, it doesn’t matter what their mouth feels or tastes like.
ADAM SELZERMost of them never really listen to music.
ADAM SELZERLet me get this straight,” I say. “You’re practically ordering me to die.
ADAM SELZERThe kiss is still awesome.
ADAM SELZERA long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date.
ADAM SELZERIronically, the section on women’s rights was added by a senator from Virginia who opposed the whole thing and was said to be sure that if he stuck something about womens’ rights into it, it would never pass.
ADAM SELZERNever date a guy who has a pet lizard (he’s probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word “married” on the first date (he’ll turn out to be a mama’s boy or a religious type)
ADAM SELZERSome of them are wearing skirts that I’m pretty sure are supposed to be belts.
ADAM SELZEREven at concerts people pay good money for, instead of a three-dollar cover charge, they talk through the whole thing.
ADAM SELZERThe bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia.
ADAM SELZERWow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
ADAM SELZERWhen you’re dead, everything in the world is like a song that makes you cry.
ADAM SELZERWe add to it every now and then. It includes things like never date a guy whose computer costs more than his car (you’ll never get him to pay attention to you except over instant messages)
ADAM SELZERWhat kind of guidance counselor are you?
ADAM SELZER