Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
ADAM PHILLIPSLovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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People change, but there really are limits.
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
ADAM PHILLIPS