When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
ADAM PHILLIPSWe are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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People change, but there really are limits.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
ADAM PHILLIPS