When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
ADAM PHILLIPSIt is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
ADAM PHILLIPS