It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
ADAM PHILLIPSThe child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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You write to find out what you believe.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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When we define ourselves by what we can recognize, by what we can comprehend- rather than, say, by what we can describe
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we are continually under threat from what we are unwilling and/or unable to see.
ADAM PHILLIPS