It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
ADAM PHILLIPSThe child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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Transgression is a quest for solitude
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One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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We are children for a very long time.
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Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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