We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
ADAM PHILLIPSTo keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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People change, but there really are limits.
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We are children for a very long time.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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To keep faith with recognition we have to stay recognizable.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden.
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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You write to find out what you believe.
ADAM PHILLIPS