It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
ADAM PHILLIPSThe past influences everything and dictates nothing.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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Sanity, in other words, becomes a pressing preoccupation as soon as we recognize the importance of recognition.
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There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage
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There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
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Tragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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Lovers, of course, are notoriously frantic epistemologists, second only to paranoiacs (and analysts) as readers of signs and wonders.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.
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You write to find out what you believe.
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I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?
ADAM PHILLIPS






