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Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

Abigail Van Buren

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Free Help Pay Pipe Religion Water Women

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The purpose of life is to amount to something and have it make some difference that you lived at all.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Amount Difference Inspirational Motivational Purpose Suicide
A bad habit never disappears miraculously, it’s an undo-it-yourself project.
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Bad Disappear Habit Inspirational Miraculously Undo
You could move.’ —“Dear Abby” responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Children Family Inspirational Money Success
The less you talk, the more you’re listened to.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

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So the richest are often the poorest as this saying goes, “Loneliness is the ultimate poverty”
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Loneliness Lonely Poorest Poverty Rich Ultimate
How should they answer?
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Answers Guess Hope Life Time Wait
If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
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Business Generation Interested Journal Kind Looking Older Sex Street Wall
It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself
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Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
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Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to “prove their love” like a moose needs a hat rack.
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Girl Hat Kissing Moose Need Power Prove Stronger
Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don’t live up to the expectations we have of them.
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If you don’t value what you have, you’re sure to lose it.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

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It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It’s cruel, it’s brutal, it’s inhumane, and most people don’t want it.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Abuse Animal Death Defense Mutilation People Subject Unconscionable
Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you’re prepared to lose.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Giving Golfer Lose never Prepare Ultimatum Unless
Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age. Nothing does – except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Automatic Inspirational Nothing True Wine Wisdom Wrinkle

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